Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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