i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I had to cum in my sink.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
dude. I can hear the air.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
