dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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