Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Randomize
