you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
