Whod you bang
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
