You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
