Can i not drive my cunt home
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize