I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I wish you could order shots online.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
