He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
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I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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