they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
