come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
