no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
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just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
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She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
tell me about the fingering
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