the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
