nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Randomize
