Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
