just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
