I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
