goodnight i made you a song goodbye
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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