I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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