My liver just broke up with me...
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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