It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
The uberlube is also flammable
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
