do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
