I just made out with a guy for $7.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
