the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
