I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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