Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
so let's talk penis.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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