I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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