wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
it glows. i had to have it.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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