But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
