the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
North Korea, Best Korea!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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