i permit you to call me
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
