We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
