and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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