im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Someone signed my nipple.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
The ass gains better be worth it
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