dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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