When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
