Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
