dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
