I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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