i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
