Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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