ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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