ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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