I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
