everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize