Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
