Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
