I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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