so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
FUCK WHALES
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