this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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