I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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