Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
