david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Randomize
