I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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