i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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