So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize