oh god the rape fog is back!
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize