Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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