Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
