boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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