its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
