I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
His nipple licking is glorious
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