I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
