He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
There's always time for handjobs
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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